Dating abuse and phrases
When Hedda Nussbaum was a young, single woman living with a roommate in a New York City brownstone, she heard a ruckus outside her building one night and peered out the window to see a neighbor in her bathrobe, refusing to go back inside until the police arrived.
The woman's husband, known to be a heavy drinker, turned out to be abusive.
"So if someone's going to beat the crap out of you, odds are, you'll be better off if it's a stranger." These guys do not come with warning labels, but Nussbaum now thinks she can spot an abusive man, or at least a controlling man with a capacity for abuse.There's a huge difference between someone blowing up their partner's phone with texts because they love them, and someone sending abusive text messages to exert power over their partner.Abuse can occur in many forms — and that includes text messaging — so it's not always easy to spot, and that's part of why it can be so dangerous in the first place.Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors that one partner uses to maintain power and control over a partner in an intimate relationship, and it's not always physical, says Cameka Crawford, chief communications officer at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.Abuse can be physical, emotional, mental, or digital, but it always involves a struggle of power and control, Crawford says."Technology is a good thing, because it keeps people connected, but abusive partners have found new and different ways to control their partners," she says.An abusive partner could use texts, Snapchat, Instagram, email, or pretty much any other digital communication tool to contact and harass their partner, says Jasmine Uribe, leadership and engagement manager at Break the Cycle, a nonprofit that provides dating abuse services to teens and young adults.But just because these messages are oftentimes lighthearted or normal-seeming, that doesn't mean they can't be dangerous.Ahead are some common patterns or phrases that experts say could fall under the umbrella of abuse.Of course, in the context of a healthy, balanced relationship, these texts might not be harmful, but it's important to know what to look for.If you think you might be receiving abusive text messages from anyone, take screenshots of the texts and save them in case you decide to build a case.