Dating my professor
Whether you're bouncing back after a divorce, or recovering from the death of your life partner, returning to the dating scene is never easy.
Indeed, from the challenge of meeting someone new, to wondering if he'll call again, to those inevitable questions about sex and intimacy, the prospect of getting back in the groove can seem downright daunting.
The important thing to remember, however, is that almost every woman shares at least some of that same anxiety.
Moreover, if you do want to start dating again, you won't have to look far to find companionship!
According to the online dating company, Match.com, baby boomers are its fastest-growing group of members.
"If you are a busy adult with work you're committed to, and children at home, then you have to make dating efficient," Rosenfeld says."And there is no more efficient vehicle than the Internet." "Remember that you are looking for a good fit, not validation," Rosenfeld continues."Many people make the mistake of putting out a generic profile that will attract a lot of people.But if you do that, you're going to attract a lot of people who aren't a good fit, and that can be exhausting - and demoralizing." Instead, says Rosenfeld, when you are creating your online profile, "Avoid generic likes and dislikes, like walking on the beach," he says."Don't be strident or negative, but don't hesitate to state strong beliefs. You may get fewer responses, but you're likely to be more compatible with the people who respond." Whether you're dating online or not, it can't hurt to also let friends, family members, and acquaintances know that you're available and want to meet people.There is no guarantee that you are going to like your sister-in-law's newly divorced first cousin, of course, but the connection ensures that your date is not a complete unknown. Arrange to meet at a cafÃ© or restaurant rather than at your home or his. For your first meeting, it is best to arrange a coffee date rather than a dinner or an afternoon at a museum.Once you've made a connection -- either online, through friends, or by striking up a conversation with someone in the grocery store -- and you've arranged to get together, there are some important things to remember. If you have made a connection online and know nothing about your date, you may want to be extra cautious by letting a friend know where you will be meeting and at what time. If you don't seem to be hitting it off, it's easier for both parties when there's a quick escape route!Moreover, to help ease the anxiety of a first-time date, Rosenfeld suggests you "sandwich" the meeting between two other activities you really like."Before you meet your date, do something that puts you in a positive frame of mind; then, after the date is over, meet up with a friend," he says.If the date is a disaster, you'll have someone to commiserate with. This is not the time to discuss your favorite baby names or your ongoing feud with your ex.And if it's great - you'll have someone to celebrate with. There will be plenty of time for such discussions if you continue dating, but a first meeting should be light and breezy. Don't pressure yourself into deciding if this is the person you want to grow old with -- remember, its just coffee!