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After publishing the article “The Truth About Dating In Japan As A Foreigner” a lot of female readers asked me what it’s like to date a Japanese guy.Many seemed to be interested in cultural differences and resulting problems in the relationship between a foreign woman and a Japanese man.Although I’ve been in Japan for 6 years now, I totally lack that kind of experience.
I’ve heard from many people that they were just “used” as an opportunity to get free English lessons (or whatever their native language was).I bet it’s difficult to filter the ones who are truly interested.“There are a lot of stereotypes and some girls use them for their own personal gain.Those that stand true to who they are seem to be the ones who find solid relationships. What we consider common sense is very different.” “When I first started dating my husband he was embarrassed to hold hands with me in public.In my case, for instance, men are quick to bring up the topic of bikinis and love hotels the minute I mention I’m Latina. For a long while, after the loss of someone I planned on spending my entire life with, I gave in to that stereotype and was unable to get involved in a serious relationship.” “Now, I’m in a happy relationship with an older man who doesn’t speak a lick of English or Spanish, which is my main language. For one, I’m very passionate in my way of moving and speaking, and I sometimes forget to respect personal space. This applied more in Japan than when we were in England, although now he seems completely okay with it.In general, Japanese men are likely to be embarrassed about showing affection in public – even things like putting an arm around someone’s shoulders, or hugging, never mind kissing.Very touchy feely Japanese couples are definitely NOT the norm.” “Long working hours and overtime are common here in Japan.My first Japanese boyfriend would go for weeks without contacting me because he was working late every day.Also, a general lack of e-mailing, phone calls etc. Although I don’t think that this just applies to Japanese men!” “If you can both speak the other person’s language, there are probably going to be disagreements about what language to speak.My husband and I have a system where we swap languages every day – so today is an English day, and tomorrow is Japanese.