Physical attraction and dating
As human beings, we are made to feel physical attraction.
It is one of our most powerful mate selection criteria.
Much of e Harmony’s philosophy regarding relationships has to do with placing physical attraction lower on our list of selection criteria, because when looking at “long-term” relationship success, physical attraction doesn’t rank very high.
In other words, when talking to couples that have been successfully married for many years they rarely list “physical attraction” as one of the core issues that has led to their success.
In addition, it’s a sad fact that today in society people often use physical attraction as their “only” gauge of whether to pursue a relationship.
This notion is reinforced constantly by our media and leads to large numbers of shallow, dysfunctional and ultimately failed relationships.
Having said all that, we do believe that physical attraction is germane to a healthy, successful relationship and discourage relationships between two people who get along great, appear to be compatible and yet have no “spark.” Building a great relationship without the excitement and attraction that comes from Little Physical Attraction = Deal Breaker? Remember, a “great person” is not a “great person for you” unless they meet your needs and desires in a partner.
You needn’t feel guilty about your lack of physical chemistry with a person.
The physical attraction of initial infatuation goes hand-in-hand with an upswing of euphoria-inducing chemicals that your brain releases.But even though physical attraction is partially responsible for your desire to date, it doesn't mean everything.Within moments of meeting someone, we make all sorts of assessments about them, including their physical attractiveness.When it comes to evaluating a potential relationship match, many people will use this quality to evaluate and determine whether they should pursue someone.We all know physical attraction is important in dating, but is it everything? Physical attraction is important in any relationship.Who doesn’t want to be physically attracted to the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with?Many people feel like physical attraction is directly correlated with sexual attraction, and there is some truth to this.However, science has uncovered that there are many unexpected factors like face shape, voice pitch, even smell are also important factors in determining who we’re attracted to.Though subtle, these factors can play a powerful role in our assessment of attraction. Laura Berman says attraction results from the unique information gathered by all of our senses. John Money, a psychologist who specialized in research into sexual identity, biology and gender known as “love maps”.Ever wondered why you were extremely drawn to someone you just met and couldn’t put your finger on why, or you felt a strong sense of attraction when you smelled a familiar cologne? These love maps are a result of early childhood experiences delivered to us via the five senses. Berman, our love map is activated by those very same senses when we are adults.Sight is a powerful factor.“Studies show we tend to be attracted to people who look like our parents and even ourselves,” Dr. Smell is also a factor that plays a role in attraction.