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People often ask me; "Godforbid," they say, "You're quite the ladies man What's your secret? You too can be swimming in women A float in seas of ovaries But more importantly, Knowing whether behind those pretty eyes You have a diamond in the rough Or colored contact lenses In a rough **** stripper named Diamond Let's recreate the scene Make-believe you're at the table, see Talking playfully to the waitress At your local place to eat Way beneath the apron, Maybelline, Smell of eggs and cheese, bacon grease She's a babe, an 8 at least You wanna push the plate of quesadillas off the table And spread them angel's wings But you can't say a thing? be her man...) You see, confidence is key When entering any situation We all have insecurities, So why not build your confidence On the insecurities of others? The drunker you are The easier it is to get laid, But the harder it is to **** You may have to picture what it is this month Whoever you've been thinking of The girl at the pizza hut, Midgets, nuns Whatever little miss it was And with a little hard work A little luck, If you haven't given up, Maybe you can get it up Now ****'s supposed to be fun Instant gratification, A roller coaster; But no one wants to get stuck over And over going home to the roller coaster It's hard to watch your shows and do your homework And when the ride you rode is over It'll cost more than a roll of quarters (You can get... Men have what I call a 'Columbus Complex;' Other people may have been there But we still wanna feel like we discovered it So don't tell the number that you've done it with Your summers in columbia when you were young And did a bunch of dumber sh*t Rambunctious kids, wait for the second date To cuff the wrists Sponges, rubber gloves And whips, oven mits Now a well trimmed personal area that's nice But why's she so ready? Be her man...) If she's your girlfriend, Leave her alone with your friends Now I don't expect no virgins But let 'em try to score Is she flirting or is she !If you don't do well with women They sell prescription drugs on television May cause loss of appetite, malnutrition, Dizzy spells and different bells were ringing And that's where I come in and give 'em A little extra help to get 'em (You can get... You don't suppose that she never knows When she might show somebody Now think of that before you go steady Or maybe at your own wedding (You can get... Be her man...) So pull out I know how warm and good it feels But it's getting crowded round here So please, pull out If it's not the one you wanna stay with You can avoid the face but not the abbreviations Taking payments from your pay check You can do it, pull out!People often ask me "God Forbid," they say, "you're quite the ladies man." "What's your secret?" Well, you too can be swimmin' in women Afloat in seas of ovaries But more importantly Knowing whether behind those pretty eyes You have a diamond in the rough Or colored contact lenses, and a rough *whistle* stripper named Diamond Lets recreate the scene: make believe you're at a table seat Talking playfully to the waitress at your local place to eat Way beneath the apron, Maybelline Smell of eggs and cheese, bacon grease She's a babe: an eight at least You want to push the plate of quesadillas off the table And spread them angel's wings But you can't say a thing?
You don't suppose She never knows When she might show somebody?
Now think about that before you go steady Or maybe at your own wedding (You can't get) If she's your girlfriend Leave her alone with your friends (In her pants) Now, I don't expect no virgin But let 'em try to screw her If she's flirting, or she *sound of cartoon feet* (But you don't) It won't work man Get rid of her And get yourself a new girlfriend Remember (Give a damn) The guaranteed exchange rate At this party she's an eight At the club a seven At my apartment a ten Environment dictates The morning after She may slip to a three Cause some things are better just to lust for This conclude the introductory segment Of the God Forbid self-help collection Hey, sleep with other races Help out international relations For further behavioural instructions Consult the nearest strip club and/or liquor store (If it's not the one you want, just let it go) Thank you, and enjoy yourself (If it's not the one you want, just let it go) (If it's not the one you want, just let it go...) [This is a good country, filled with good people] [But what good is good in times like these?
That Handsome Devil is a Brooklyn, NY, USA band which includes Christian Oppel (aka Godforbid), Jeremy Page, Naoko Takamoto, Jeremy Siegel, Sam Merrick and Deflon Sallahr.
They debuted with EP Dating Tips / How To Get Money (2004, Art & Craft) and their latest album is Drugs & Guns For Everyone (Nov 2014).
Take a ride with That Handsome Devil to the other side of town: a neighborhood where Charles Bukowski hung his hat at a juke joint; where the bartender knew Hunter Thompson’s single malt of choice and kept plenty in stock.